it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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