did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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