I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he fucked my hip out of place.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize