remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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