I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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