youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
