last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
how do you play pong handcuffed?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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