YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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