I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
