All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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