How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
