but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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