just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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