It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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