Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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