what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's never too late to be topless.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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