I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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