Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
