You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
