His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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