Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
