ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
