i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
