Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
