I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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