Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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