I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
