HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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