Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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