Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize