He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
