Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
