in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's rum buckets o'clock
They are going to name an STD after you.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
