That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize