id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
