why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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