No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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