You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
