Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
