the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
