and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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