I'm so fucking centered right now
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
