legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
