Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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