We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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