i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize