Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
They are going to name an STD after you.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
