I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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