I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
