I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
