do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You're like the curious george of whores
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
