yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
