I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
