wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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