peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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