I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
