That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
