I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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