Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
