i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
