I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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