his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
