I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
